I promised that the next post would be about choosing a midwife and meanwhile had future plans for another post about trust...then I realized they were really the same.
This pregnancy I have had to learn to trust my body, my baby and pick a birth team I can trust. As a first time mom, I trusted my doctor and nurses and hospital. That trust fell a bit misplaced as my birth experience turned out to be more traumatic than enlightening. I felt blessed to have a healthy baby but it began a long string of events that caused an unhealthy mommy; a mommy that wasn't certain if there would be another baby. As I mentioned in my previous post, it took awhile but I finally came to terms with what happened and how to make it better. I knew I wanted a homebirth this time and set out to find a midwife when I found out I was pregnant.
Now, trust began before this point because we were right in the middle of a big move and my parents had just moved out of state. My son had hit the terrible two's and I felt as though the stress alone might damage my chances of having a healthy pregnancy. I didn't actually begin looking for a midwife until I was 10 or 11 weeks along (if you know me, this was NOT my style at all) still waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.
I began with the midwife that was at my monthly birth circle meetings. She is one of the main people that helped me realize what had gone wrong in my previous labor and a friend. We had a great interview and I was planning to stop there. I literally went to bed one night and woke up the next morning with the idea I needed to keep interviewing, like maybe someone I had known for awhile and knew my whole story wasn't what I needed for this birth. My husband had been encouraging me to "be sure" and I thought I was...until I wasn't. I had to trust my instincts were right and I contacted 2 more midwives. As it so happened, the very next midwife I interviewed was calm, reassuring and warm and I exactly needed that at that moment. I hired her. I trusted that my first interviewee would understand my decision to go with someone else, and she did. In birth, everyone seems to know that instinct rules and I find my wishes have been respected all along the way.
Like when I had my initial appointment with my midwife and she went down the long list of tests performed routinely by OB's. She didn't simply draw my blood, she ASKED me if I wanted these things done. When we discussed each test, I realized that a majority of them were related to STD's and the others were things that would have come up during my blood draws during my first pregnancy. I declined. All of them. For now, anyway. This week I will do a gestational diabetes check (no glucose drink!) and an anemia check. Do you know how empowering it was to simply say "No"??? It was awesome. Again, I trusted my midwife to let me know what was important and she trusted me to choose right for me and my baby.
The whole pregnancy I have been quite calm about labor, trusting that my body had the right idea the first go round and that I fouled it up by intervening, trusting that I know what I need to do and that is to respect the birth process and let my body and my baby lead. I also trust that if there is a true emergency or problem, I have set the right birth team in place to get me through it and handle the situation or get me somewhere I can receive the help I need.
I find it sad that in a traditional OB/Hospital birth situation we are expected to let others lead us down the correct path and stop trusting ourselves. We follow their timeline for how quickly birth should occur, we listen to them when they say to get the epidural because we won't be able to handle the pain and we just nod our heads when they say we need an "emergency" c-section but it takes an hour to get an operating room. In recovery we are told our baby is hungry and we should supplement til our milk comes in, even though we though we read that the way to get our milk to come in and increase supply is to keep feeding baby on demand and that they can live on our colostrum the first few days... we stop standing up for ourselves and blindly do as we are told. Only later do we find out that most of what was said or done was unnecessary. Then we can choose to get educated or get defensive. (Oh how many people I have met that just get defensive!)
I'm so glad I decided to get educated and decided for this pregnancy, to trust me, my baby and my body. All 3 will thank me later.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Labor of Love
So, it has been a crazy, miraculous, busy, sad time over the last few months which was the reason for my absence. I can't say things have calmed down any, but it was time to get back to the blog. My personal life has been filled with joy; the impeding arrival of a new baby and moving into a new house, as well as sadness, with the passing of my father in law last month. It certainly felt as though we were watching the circle of life in person as we drove from the funeral home to our ultrasound appointment to learn we are expecting a healthy baby girl in December. A bittersweet day, especially for my husband.
As you can imagine, we are overjoyed and some days even overwhelmed at the idea of another baby. Our son turned two in March and while he can be the sweetest, most loving little boy on the face of the planet, he can switch to a "terrible two year old" in .02 seconds! I wonder how it will be to be a mother of two young children and if I'm up for the job. Mostly, I pray for a healthy baby, healthy momma and amazing labor. Amazing labor you say? Yes. You read correctly...I plan to be fully conscious, fully feeling and fully present for the birth of my little girl in the safety and comfort of my own home.
I didn't go into labor with Anderson with any real expectation. I had a birth plan that requested minimal interventions, but I was determined to be flexible to the occasion. After more than a day of laboring, I was given one bully of a nurse who turned the birth of my child into a torture session rather than a beautiful event. I'm pretty sure it isn't normal to bargain with the hospital staff for them to give you a sip of water if you can only push your baby out. There was pitocin, epidurals (that got turned off before the pitocin got turned on), an oxygen mask, threatened c-sections, nurses telling me to stop screaming, hep-locks ripped out of my hand and an unmedicated episiotomy that caused months of physical and psycological damage. At first, I was just happy to have a healthy baby but after a few months went by I began to realize the lasting emotional effects of such a traumatic birth.
In the amazing way that I believe only God can work, I sold some items on craigslist to a woman who happened to be a doula. Being as it is her profession and passion to talk about birth, we ended up discussing my birth story. She told me about meetings held monthly throughout the valley of women interested in birth and in the birthing profession (doulas, childbirth educators, midwives, lactation consultants). She suggested it might be healing to go hear what people had to say. I didn't plan on going as I didn't know anyone, but when I mapquested the address, I realized the house the meeting was held in was literally the neighbor behind me! Certainly this was fate. I went to the meeting and low and behold, the topic of the evening was birth stories. I shared mine and was saddened to learn it wasn't the worst story in the room. What was inspiring though was a new mom that sat across from me. Her labor was just as long and also included vomiting. The difference was that she had two doulas with her at the hospital. She had these people reminding her what her wishes had been before she was exhausted and nearly two days into labor. In the end, she had a totally unmedicated birth and felt amazing afterward!
The more I talked to these women and researched, the more I felt as though my downfall had been in getting the epidural. As I read about labor patterns I realized that I had probably gotten the epidural during transition, the hardest part of labor. Once the meds trickled through my body, my body shut down. I didn't progress for 12 hours, until I gave in to pitocin. That made sense! I don't take drugs (prescription or otherwise) because I don't tolerate most of them well, especially pain killers, because I panic....so my body went into panic mode when I stopped feeling the contractions and therefore, I quit laboring! I will always wonder how quickly or slowly my labor would have progressed had I not intervened.
With each meeting I came home to my husband revived and energized and not quite so fearful of having another baby. We had seriously discussed our son being an only child. Labor had been traumatic not only for me and baby, but my husband and mother who had been there as well. My husband brought up homebirth first. I initially pushed the idea aside...but not out of the way. I had yet to decide, if I did have another baby, if I just wanted to make sure no one ever turned my epidural off or if I just didn't want one at all.
In total, it took about 6 months of meetings, books, documentaries (watch the Business of Being Born!) and online research and we decided that yes, we wanted another baby and we both believed it to be more free of interventions, complications and far more comfortable if we did it within the loving walls of our own home.
The national cesarean rate at nearly 40% seemed outrageous to us and thinking back on our situation that could have easily turned that way, it appeared to be a rate based more on convenience for doctors, hospital staff (and a lot of time, moms!) than out of necessity. (Disclaimer: There ARE valid, medical reasons for a small percentage of surgical births and I am grateful it is an option) From the moment I walked through the doors, everything was prepping me for surgery...no food, no water, hep-lock. Fortunately, even though women getting induced (I did go into labor naturally but they induced when labor stopped) are twice as likely to end up birthing by c-section, I was spared major surgery. I feel like by planning to have my baby at home, if I do end up in the hospital at least I know there is a valid reason and it is not out of impatience of labor progression. In the last 60 years our country has medicalized the natural process of birthing healthy babies to healthy moms, treating woman as though they are sick. I feel like the right decision for me and my family is to bring this birth home.
Next post.......Choosing a Midwife
As you can imagine, we are overjoyed and some days even overwhelmed at the idea of another baby. Our son turned two in March and while he can be the sweetest, most loving little boy on the face of the planet, he can switch to a "terrible two year old" in .02 seconds! I wonder how it will be to be a mother of two young children and if I'm up for the job. Mostly, I pray for a healthy baby, healthy momma and amazing labor. Amazing labor you say? Yes. You read correctly...I plan to be fully conscious, fully feeling and fully present for the birth of my little girl in the safety and comfort of my own home.
I didn't go into labor with Anderson with any real expectation. I had a birth plan that requested minimal interventions, but I was determined to be flexible to the occasion. After more than a day of laboring, I was given one bully of a nurse who turned the birth of my child into a torture session rather than a beautiful event. I'm pretty sure it isn't normal to bargain with the hospital staff for them to give you a sip of water if you can only push your baby out. There was pitocin, epidurals (that got turned off before the pitocin got turned on), an oxygen mask, threatened c-sections, nurses telling me to stop screaming, hep-locks ripped out of my hand and an unmedicated episiotomy that caused months of physical and psycological damage. At first, I was just happy to have a healthy baby but after a few months went by I began to realize the lasting emotional effects of such a traumatic birth.
In the amazing way that I believe only God can work, I sold some items on craigslist to a woman who happened to be a doula. Being as it is her profession and passion to talk about birth, we ended up discussing my birth story. She told me about meetings held monthly throughout the valley of women interested in birth and in the birthing profession (doulas, childbirth educators, midwives, lactation consultants). She suggested it might be healing to go hear what people had to say. I didn't plan on going as I didn't know anyone, but when I mapquested the address, I realized the house the meeting was held in was literally the neighbor behind me! Certainly this was fate. I went to the meeting and low and behold, the topic of the evening was birth stories. I shared mine and was saddened to learn it wasn't the worst story in the room. What was inspiring though was a new mom that sat across from me. Her labor was just as long and also included vomiting. The difference was that she had two doulas with her at the hospital. She had these people reminding her what her wishes had been before she was exhausted and nearly two days into labor. In the end, she had a totally unmedicated birth and felt amazing afterward!
The more I talked to these women and researched, the more I felt as though my downfall had been in getting the epidural. As I read about labor patterns I realized that I had probably gotten the epidural during transition, the hardest part of labor. Once the meds trickled through my body, my body shut down. I didn't progress for 12 hours, until I gave in to pitocin. That made sense! I don't take drugs (prescription or otherwise) because I don't tolerate most of them well, especially pain killers, because I panic....so my body went into panic mode when I stopped feeling the contractions and therefore, I quit laboring! I will always wonder how quickly or slowly my labor would have progressed had I not intervened.
With each meeting I came home to my husband revived and energized and not quite so fearful of having another baby. We had seriously discussed our son being an only child. Labor had been traumatic not only for me and baby, but my husband and mother who had been there as well. My husband brought up homebirth first. I initially pushed the idea aside...but not out of the way. I had yet to decide, if I did have another baby, if I just wanted to make sure no one ever turned my epidural off or if I just didn't want one at all.
In total, it took about 6 months of meetings, books, documentaries (watch the Business of Being Born!) and online research and we decided that yes, we wanted another baby and we both believed it to be more free of interventions, complications and far more comfortable if we did it within the loving walls of our own home.
The national cesarean rate at nearly 40% seemed outrageous to us and thinking back on our situation that could have easily turned that way, it appeared to be a rate based more on convenience for doctors, hospital staff (and a lot of time, moms!) than out of necessity. (Disclaimer: There ARE valid, medical reasons for a small percentage of surgical births and I am grateful it is an option) From the moment I walked through the doors, everything was prepping me for surgery...no food, no water, hep-lock. Fortunately, even though women getting induced (I did go into labor naturally but they induced when labor stopped) are twice as likely to end up birthing by c-section, I was spared major surgery. I feel like by planning to have my baby at home, if I do end up in the hospital at least I know there is a valid reason and it is not out of impatience of labor progression. In the last 60 years our country has medicalized the natural process of birthing healthy babies to healthy moms, treating woman as though they are sick. I feel like the right decision for me and my family is to bring this birth home.
Next post.......Choosing a Midwife
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
You are what you eat...
...which makes me a very bad for you, totally fattening, Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. It's an obsession that began with the pretty red holiday cup and should have ended when the holidays did...but it didn't. It got so bad, my brother bought me the legit syrups from Starbucks for Christmas so I could make them at home. They're all gone now. But I'm done. No, really.
I'm not into "diets." I see dieting as temporary. I am, however, into constantly reevaluating my own and my family's dietary needs. We treat ourselves to Chipotle once in awhile (antibiotic and hormone free meats!) but we mostly eat at home. This creates a lot of dishes. Oops...I cook, so guess what hubby has to do.... :) We stick to organic beef, hormone-free chicken and turkey. I can't remember the last time we had pork. We eat organic vegetables (love the co-op but can't wait for my own garden!) and whole grains like quinoa, couscous, brown and wild rice and prefer brown rice pasta to white or even whole wheat pasta. I can be creative in the kitchen and don't mind substituting for healthier options or when I don't have a particular ingredient. I don't even mind making something up with whatever I have in the pantry. My mom says this is a trait from my grandmother. Thank goodness because I can only recall a couple of my mom's experimental meals and well.....yeah. Love you, Momma!
Though I freely recognize my family eats better than most of America, I can see room for change. I have experimented with vegetarianism and quite liked the result. I ultimately stopped because I found myself not paying attention for a few days and could tell I was rapidly becoming anemic by the bruising. I didn't feel I had the time at that particular juncture to pay enough attention to the health aspect so I stopped. For awhile. Now, I am watching my mom transition to raw vegan and begin to glow as well as abound with energy...sans caffeine! I have begun pouring through websites along with her and have seen so many success stories, I can't help but be hooked.
These people look incredibly healthy (and quite normal, thank you, to those thinking they are tree-hugging hippie types)! So, bit by bit, I am trying to incorporate more raw vegan meals and snacks into my day. My family is addicted to Larabars, which have nothing but fruit, nuts and dates for sweetness anyway so I haven't made a sacrifice there. (By the way, if you have never had one...go buy one, now! Peanut Butter Cookie and Coconut Cream Pie are like dessert! http://www.larabar.com/) I found an awesome website, http://www.ohsheglows.com/ with all sorts of delish chocolatey snacks. I made the chocolate chips and chocolate chips cookies last night. SOOOO good! and all gone, I might add.
Here is my theory as to why vegetarians, vegans get a bad rap: A lot of these folks are very sensitive to the plight of the animals being raised for food and in their decision to stop eating meat or animal products have not necessarily made the decision to replace that protein accordingly with whole grains, vegetables, nuts and grains. These folks thin out drastically (not in a pretty way) and get pale. Then everyone blames their diet. I am here to tell you that I LOVE animals and I am saddened by the way some are raised and subsequently killed for food, BUT my food decisions are 100% based on the health aspects.
If I decide to continue this path to raw veganism, and I can tell you I have a long way to go, it will only be if I feel better. If my skin clears up, I sleep better, I have more energy and if I don't turn into a raging hormonal wench once a month. These would be signs to me that I am on the right path and need to continue. At that point, look out! Who wouldn't do whatever they could to feel that good? What I find so interesting is that living and eating this way is only difficult because of society. Society as a whole will judge me based on what I eat. I will be labeled as weird or difficult. I call it healthy and I call it progress. Shouldn't we all do what we can to better ourselves when given the opportunity?
I'm not into "diets." I see dieting as temporary. I am, however, into constantly reevaluating my own and my family's dietary needs. We treat ourselves to Chipotle once in awhile (antibiotic and hormone free meats!) but we mostly eat at home. This creates a lot of dishes. Oops...I cook, so guess what hubby has to do.... :) We stick to organic beef, hormone-free chicken and turkey. I can't remember the last time we had pork. We eat organic vegetables (love the co-op but can't wait for my own garden!) and whole grains like quinoa, couscous, brown and wild rice and prefer brown rice pasta to white or even whole wheat pasta. I can be creative in the kitchen and don't mind substituting for healthier options or when I don't have a particular ingredient. I don't even mind making something up with whatever I have in the pantry. My mom says this is a trait from my grandmother. Thank goodness because I can only recall a couple of my mom's experimental meals and well.....yeah. Love you, Momma!
Though I freely recognize my family eats better than most of America, I can see room for change. I have experimented with vegetarianism and quite liked the result. I ultimately stopped because I found myself not paying attention for a few days and could tell I was rapidly becoming anemic by the bruising. I didn't feel I had the time at that particular juncture to pay enough attention to the health aspect so I stopped. For awhile. Now, I am watching my mom transition to raw vegan and begin to glow as well as abound with energy...sans caffeine! I have begun pouring through websites along with her and have seen so many success stories, I can't help but be hooked.
These people look incredibly healthy (and quite normal, thank you, to those thinking they are tree-hugging hippie types)! So, bit by bit, I am trying to incorporate more raw vegan meals and snacks into my day. My family is addicted to Larabars, which have nothing but fruit, nuts and dates for sweetness anyway so I haven't made a sacrifice there. (By the way, if you have never had one...go buy one, now! Peanut Butter Cookie and Coconut Cream Pie are like dessert! http://www.larabar.com/) I found an awesome website, http://www.ohsheglows.com/ with all sorts of delish chocolatey snacks. I made the chocolate chips and chocolate chips cookies last night. SOOOO good! and all gone, I might add.
Here is my theory as to why vegetarians, vegans get a bad rap: A lot of these folks are very sensitive to the plight of the animals being raised for food and in their decision to stop eating meat or animal products have not necessarily made the decision to replace that protein accordingly with whole grains, vegetables, nuts and grains. These folks thin out drastically (not in a pretty way) and get pale. Then everyone blames their diet. I am here to tell you that I LOVE animals and I am saddened by the way some are raised and subsequently killed for food, BUT my food decisions are 100% based on the health aspects.
If I decide to continue this path to raw veganism, and I can tell you I have a long way to go, it will only be if I feel better. If my skin clears up, I sleep better, I have more energy and if I don't turn into a raging hormonal wench once a month. These would be signs to me that I am on the right path and need to continue. At that point, look out! Who wouldn't do whatever they could to feel that good? What I find so interesting is that living and eating this way is only difficult because of society. Society as a whole will judge me based on what I eat. I will be labeled as weird or difficult. I call it healthy and I call it progress. Shouldn't we all do what we can to better ourselves when given the opportunity?
Oh, Fabulous 30!
On the brink of turning 30 years old (in November) I thought, "Why do people say they love 30 so much? Why do they feel so figured out and comfortable with themselves? I still feel like a teenager!" Well, a few months in and I think I've got it. I'm not figured out (and for that matter, I doubt those that say they are, actually are either), but I know who I am a little more each day.
I'm still torn between country and city, still completely confused by organized religion and am still weighing the pros and cons of homeschooling. But in the midst of this confusion I have realized that I am "different"...and it's ok. I know that I make the decisions I do based on research and gut instinct. I know that everything I do is to better myself or my family. I feed my family nutritious and organic foods, I don't vaccinate "on schedule" (that's a whole other topic for another day), and I don't buy products with chemical names I can't pronounce. My next baby will be born at home, not in a hospital, unless there is a medical need. I breastfed my kid. My son has never eaten at McDonald's. Ever. He probably never will. I could drive for days...the excitement of going somewhere, maybe even nowhere, just enjoying the scenery and the conversation. I like country music. I love massages. I love to read and I read the end of a book when I'm about 3 chapters into the beginning. I'm a gypsy at heart with a longing for home, even though I don't know what that means, exactly. This is who I am. Some of it I like, some I don't, but it's me. Apparently my husband loves me for it all or despite it all, and when it comes down to it, should I even care what anyone else thinks as long as my husband loves me?
I'm not perfect, and it took turning 30 to decide I don't have kill myself trying to be.
I'm still torn between country and city, still completely confused by organized religion and am still weighing the pros and cons of homeschooling. But in the midst of this confusion I have realized that I am "different"...and it's ok. I know that I make the decisions I do based on research and gut instinct. I know that everything I do is to better myself or my family. I feed my family nutritious and organic foods, I don't vaccinate "on schedule" (that's a whole other topic for another day), and I don't buy products with chemical names I can't pronounce. My next baby will be born at home, not in a hospital, unless there is a medical need. I breastfed my kid. My son has never eaten at McDonald's. Ever. He probably never will. I could drive for days...the excitement of going somewhere, maybe even nowhere, just enjoying the scenery and the conversation. I like country music. I love massages. I love to read and I read the end of a book when I'm about 3 chapters into the beginning. I'm a gypsy at heart with a longing for home, even though I don't know what that means, exactly. This is who I am. Some of it I like, some I don't, but it's me. Apparently my husband loves me for it all or despite it all, and when it comes down to it, should I even care what anyone else thinks as long as my husband loves me?
I'm not perfect, and it took turning 30 to decide I don't have kill myself trying to be.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Why it is better to buy used than to buy organic...
I love organic. I love organic food, cotton, bath essentials...I really do. Organic food tastes better, bedding feels better and lotion smells better. But when faced with the choice between organic or buying used, what do you do? Not even two years ago I would have laughed in your face and felt secretly disgusted by the prospect of purchasing anything, especially for my baby-to-be, at a yard sale or on craigslist. Why, I am far superior to the buying habits of THOSE people that have to buy secondhand goods! Fast forward. WHAT WAS I THINKING???
A friend of mine (a neat-freak if you must), told me about buying a toy off of craigslist for half the retail price. I thought, "Gross. For your BABY?" She told me how she cleaned it and that it was probably cleaner now than it had been out of the box. Hmmm. Not long afterward, I was driving to my pickup site for co-op fruits and veggies at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning and realized I was free! My husband was watching the baby and I could go get Starbucks and...well...nothing. There is nothing open at 7:30 in the morning except WalMart and I won't even tell you all the reasons I refuse to step foot into that place. So, with nothing but time and Starbucks, I began following colorful signs around various neighbohoods. My first bounty was a toddler climb and slide set - for $10. Soon, I got all my girlfriends involved and we had Saturday mornings in the car together with coffee, conversation and bargains. At first I only bought larger, easy to clean items. We still have and use daily the $200 art easel I picked up for $8.
Then, on craigslist, I found a retired Pottery Barn Kids quilt and sham set for my son's "big boy room" for $45. Now here is where I struggled...and rightly so, as several of you reading this just shuttered at the thought of me putting "used" bedding on my son's bed. I had no doubt in my mind that a couple of hot washes would take care of any germs lingering in the bedding but harder to wash away were my concerns about whether people would think I was a bad mom. I mean, it's not like I couldn't afford to buy new bedding. I was just making a conscious choice to buy this used (And did I mention, very cute?) set. I stashed the bedding away in a closet and even thought about selling it.
I happened upon an article one day explaining why you should not buy organic. Well, I just had to read it, claws ready and waiting. The article detailed the production process of organic and the environmental impact of distribution in comparison to purchasing items secondhand. In short, they were not saying that buying organic was bad, just that if your purpose was environmental friendliness, one was better off to buy an item that would be on it's way to crowd our landfills. The more I mulled over the ideas and thought process of the article
(which of course I cannot locate to link it right now) the more I liked the concept. Every item I purchased from a person, rather than a store, put money into the pockets of individuals, saved me money, reduced the amount of packaging being thrown away (had I purchased new instead) and only created the emissions from my vehicle in picking up the item rather than commercial truck emmissions.
When I began to look at buying secondhand as a win-win for everyone involved (except of course, big box retailers) I began to let go of the guilt that maybe I was a bad mom or bad wife for buying some of our goods previously owned. There are some items, like mattresses, that I will never buy used, but for the most part, the bargain shopping has become fun. Pointing out the cool leather chairs I picked up for $25 and the toy bins for $5 gives me a sense of accomplishment. When I decide I want something I always try to find it secondhand, first. Invariably, when I have a hard time finding something and lose my patience, it pops up everywhere for half the cost of whatever I purchased it for new.
I can't imagine that five years ago I would guessed the future as to the woman I am today, but when I look back at who I was, I am proud of me now. I know for certain I wouldn't be good friends with the Amy of five years ago. There are things I still want and am occasionally tempted to buy just because I want to and I can. In fact, I would still love to one day replace my linens with comfy organic cotton, but I have decided for the conservation of my planet and my wallet that I can survive a few more years with the ones I have.
A friend of mine (a neat-freak if you must), told me about buying a toy off of craigslist for half the retail price. I thought, "Gross. For your BABY?" She told me how she cleaned it and that it was probably cleaner now than it had been out of the box. Hmmm. Not long afterward, I was driving to my pickup site for co-op fruits and veggies at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning and realized I was free! My husband was watching the baby and I could go get Starbucks and...well...nothing. There is nothing open at 7:30 in the morning except WalMart and I won't even tell you all the reasons I refuse to step foot into that place. So, with nothing but time and Starbucks, I began following colorful signs around various neighbohoods. My first bounty was a toddler climb and slide set - for $10. Soon, I got all my girlfriends involved and we had Saturday mornings in the car together with coffee, conversation and bargains. At first I only bought larger, easy to clean items. We still have and use daily the $200 art easel I picked up for $8.
Then, on craigslist, I found a retired Pottery Barn Kids quilt and sham set for my son's "big boy room" for $45. Now here is where I struggled...and rightly so, as several of you reading this just shuttered at the thought of me putting "used" bedding on my son's bed. I had no doubt in my mind that a couple of hot washes would take care of any germs lingering in the bedding but harder to wash away were my concerns about whether people would think I was a bad mom. I mean, it's not like I couldn't afford to buy new bedding. I was just making a conscious choice to buy this used (And did I mention, very cute?) set. I stashed the bedding away in a closet and even thought about selling it.
I happened upon an article one day explaining why you should not buy organic. Well, I just had to read it, claws ready and waiting. The article detailed the production process of organic and the environmental impact of distribution in comparison to purchasing items secondhand. In short, they were not saying that buying organic was bad, just that if your purpose was environmental friendliness, one was better off to buy an item that would be on it's way to crowd our landfills. The more I mulled over the ideas and thought process of the article
(which of course I cannot locate to link it right now) the more I liked the concept. Every item I purchased from a person, rather than a store, put money into the pockets of individuals, saved me money, reduced the amount of packaging being thrown away (had I purchased new instead) and only created the emissions from my vehicle in picking up the item rather than commercial truck emmissions.
When I began to look at buying secondhand as a win-win for everyone involved (except of course, big box retailers) I began to let go of the guilt that maybe I was a bad mom or bad wife for buying some of our goods previously owned. There are some items, like mattresses, that I will never buy used, but for the most part, the bargain shopping has become fun. Pointing out the cool leather chairs I picked up for $25 and the toy bins for $5 gives me a sense of accomplishment. When I decide I want something I always try to find it secondhand, first. Invariably, when I have a hard time finding something and lose my patience, it pops up everywhere for half the cost of whatever I purchased it for new.
I can't imagine that five years ago I would guessed the future as to the woman I am today, but when I look back at who I was, I am proud of me now. I know for certain I wouldn't be good friends with the Amy of five years ago. There are things I still want and am occasionally tempted to buy just because I want to and I can. In fact, I would still love to one day replace my linens with comfy organic cotton, but I have decided for the conservation of my planet and my wallet that I can survive a few more years with the ones I have.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Time to roll with what I've got...
I've sat on this blog and sat and sat and sat....sorry, got caught up in a potty learning book for a second. I have much to say and share and yet cannot seem to get started, so tonight, with a glass of wine under my belt, I will begin anyway.
The simplest way to start is to tell you, the public (aka my mom), why I wanted to start this blog and my original vision for it's content. When I became pregnant with my now nearly two-year-old son, Anderson, in July of 2007, my life changed. He was totally and completely planned and like most parents, I had no clue how unprepared my husband and I really were. I began researching and through research I discovered a scary world. Harsh chemicals and a harsh reality crashed down on me: there was no one looking out for me but me. No one making sure my son grew up in a safe and healthy environment but me and my husband. The government regulations for product safety were a joke. The shear number of vaccines they were demanding parents to allow to be injected into their infants was astounding. I never even got to the aspects of natural vs. medicated birth before the little guy was here and then that birth left me with physical and emotional trauma that caused me to seek out even more knowledge.
Because I went from a long-hours career woman to a no-sleep stay at home momma, I sought the companionship of other moms with newborns and formed a mommy group. This group of women was such a blessing to me and also enlightening. First, I discovered that women need other women. Women have been supporting one another in child-rearing for centuries and now I know why. Those morning playdates with decaf Starbucks in hand (most of us were still nursing) were priceless because in those moments, looking around the room at other haggard faces and tired eyes, we knew that we were not alone. Secondly, I discovered that I was a freak. Some thought I researched things to death and spent too much time concerned about sodium lauryl sulfate in baby shampoo and making sure my child's food was organic...but some asked questions and I surprised myself by having an answer.
This blog was simply meant to be the answer to a question; a little slice of what I have learned and am still learning. Every day this blog weighs heavier and heavier on my mind and it's time I jump in tell the stories I am ready to tell and share the knowledge I have found along this crazy, bumpy, amazingly joyful ride called motherhood.
The simplest way to start is to tell you, the public (aka my mom), why I wanted to start this blog and my original vision for it's content. When I became pregnant with my now nearly two-year-old son, Anderson, in July of 2007, my life changed. He was totally and completely planned and like most parents, I had no clue how unprepared my husband and I really were. I began researching and through research I discovered a scary world. Harsh chemicals and a harsh reality crashed down on me: there was no one looking out for me but me. No one making sure my son grew up in a safe and healthy environment but me and my husband. The government regulations for product safety were a joke. The shear number of vaccines they were demanding parents to allow to be injected into their infants was astounding. I never even got to the aspects of natural vs. medicated birth before the little guy was here and then that birth left me with physical and emotional trauma that caused me to seek out even more knowledge.
Because I went from a long-hours career woman to a no-sleep stay at home momma, I sought the companionship of other moms with newborns and formed a mommy group. This group of women was such a blessing to me and also enlightening. First, I discovered that women need other women. Women have been supporting one another in child-rearing for centuries and now I know why. Those morning playdates with decaf Starbucks in hand (most of us were still nursing) were priceless because in those moments, looking around the room at other haggard faces and tired eyes, we knew that we were not alone. Secondly, I discovered that I was a freak. Some thought I researched things to death and spent too much time concerned about sodium lauryl sulfate in baby shampoo and making sure my child's food was organic...but some asked questions and I surprised myself by having an answer.
This blog was simply meant to be the answer to a question; a little slice of what I have learned and am still learning. Every day this blog weighs heavier and heavier on my mind and it's time I jump in tell the stories I am ready to tell and share the knowledge I have found along this crazy, bumpy, amazingly joyful ride called motherhood.
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